Noodle Up Your Nose Read online

  Jake smiled at Mr. Bolin.

  Mr. Bolin did not smile back. “That’s a good story, Jake,” he said. “Even a possible story, but it would be much more believable if it wasn’t your seventh late excuse this year, and it’s only October. There was the sudden-grandmother-visit excuse. The no-clean-socks excuse. The cat-at-the-vet excuse. The stomachache, headache and nosebleed excuses. And my all time favorite—the itchy toes excuse.”

  “But my toes really did itch, Mr. Bolin,” Jake protested.

  “I’m sure they did, Jake. It’s not the reasons you’re late, it’s how often you’re late. See if you can arrive on time from now on. Otherwise, I may have to send you to have a little chat with the principal about all your excuses.”

  “I’ll try, Mr. Bolin. I really will. I like your class,” said Jake, flashing Mr. Bolin a big smile.

  This time Mr. Bolin smiled back. “Despite everything, Jake, I like having you in it too,” he said.

  Chapter Eight

  Goop and Guts

  The rumors about Kate’s party began at recess.

  “Did you hear?” said Leo. “Kate’s serving radish pie at her party.”

  “Did you hear?” said Ben. “Kate’s serving spinach juice at her party.”

  “Did you hear?” said Lila, “Kate’s serving garlic cupcakes at her party.”

  “It’s not true,” Kate told them.

  “Well, that’s what we heard,” said Lila.

  “Who told you that?” asked Kate.

  “I don’t remember,” said Lila in a huffy voice. “I just know that’s what I heard.”

  “Was it Violet?” asked Kate.

  “I told you. I don’t remember,” snarled Lila.

  “Well, I’m not having radish pie, spinach juice or garlic cupcakes at my party. I’m having strawberry and chocolate pirate cake and it’s going to be delicious,” said Kate.

  “Pirate cake?” said Lila. “How can pirate cake be delicious? Pirates eat goop and guts.”

  “They do not,” said Kate.

  “Do too. Do too. Do too,” said Lila. Then she stuck out her tongue and ran off.

  Kate ran to the swings where Jake was waiting for her. “Hey,” he said. “What took you so long? It’s not easy reserving a swing. Two girls almost beat me up for it. I had to tell them that you had an emergency phone call from home and would be back in a second.”

  “Jake, why did you say that?” said Kate. “Now everyone is going to ask me what happened. You know how stories get spread.” Then Kate told Jake about the rumors about her party.

  “I bet it was Violet,” he said. “She can be mean for no good reason. One day she told me that I had a hole in my pants and I didn’t.”

  “Well, I’m going to ask her at lunch,” said Kate. “But I don’t understand. I invited her to my party. Why does she have to be mean?”

  “Maybe it’s something she ate. You know how my mom tells me not to eat too much sugar because it makes me hyper? Well, maybe if you eat certain foods too much, you get mean.”

  “That’s crazy,” said Kate, laughing.

  “But who knows,” said Jake. “It might be true.”

  “Maybe it’s broccoli,” said Kate. “Every time my mom makes me eat it, I feel sick. And when I feel sick, I feel angry. And when I feel angry, I feel mean. Maybe Violet eats too much broccoli.” Kate laughed at the thought of Violet’s face stuffed with broccoli.

  “Yes,” said Jake as they walked back to class. “Broccoli could be it.”

  Chapter Nine

  Seaweed and Slugs

  Kate confronted Violet at lunch. “Was it you?” she said.

  “Was it me what?” said Violet, brushing her hair at her desk.

  “Did you spread rumors about my party?” asked Kate.

  “I don’t spread rumors,” said Violet, rolling her green eyes.

  “Well, everything is going to be delicious at my party,” said Kate. “It’s going to be a great party.”

  “Really,” said Violet in a voice that made Kate know Violet didn’t believe a word. Violet turned her back on Kate. “Lila, over here,” she called. “Bring your lunch and sit with me.”

  Kate walked away. How could she make people believe that the rumors about her party weren’t true?

  All the way home, Kate wondered what she could do to stop the rumors, but she couldn’t think of anything. Would the kids really believe the rumors? Would they still come to her party, no matter what crazy stories they heard?

  But as soon as she reached school the next morning, Kate heard new rumors.

  “Did you hear?” said Alice. “Kate’s making someone wash all the dishes at her party.”

  “Did you hear?” said Andrew. “Kate’s making someone eat spider legs at her party.”

  “Did you hear?” said Charlene. “Kate’s making someone stick a noodle up his nose at her party.”

  Kate ran around all recess telling people that the rumors weren’t true. But it was like plugging a hole

  in a dam. She stopped one rumor and another one popped out of nowhere.

  By lunchtime, there were newer, crazier rumors.

  There were rumors that Kate was decorating her house with spider webs and anthills.

  There were rumors that the loot bags would be filled with seaweed and slugs.

  There were rumors that everyone had to eat a worm before Kate would let them eat cake.

  “Ugh,” screeched Alice. “That is so gross.”

  “It’s a big gross lie,” said Kate. “Who’s making all these stories up?”

  But Alice didn’t know, and no one else did either.

  “Oh Jake,” said Kate on the phone that night. “What if no one comes to my party on Sunday?”

  “I’ll be there,” said Jake.

  “Thanks, Jake. You’re a good friend, but a party needs lots of people. What if it’s just you and me at my party? Who’ll eat all the cake? How can we play games with only two people?”

  Kate’s mom and dad tried to reassure her that no one really believed silly rumors, but Kate still wasn’t confident that anyone would come to her party.

  After supper, Kate and her mom filled the loot bags with chocolate coins, gummy fish, candy jewelry and Find the Treasure puzzles. For awhile, Kate was having so much fun, she forgot to worry about her party.

  But when Kate and her mom looked around the basement to find the perfect spot to hide the cardboard crocodile they’d made for Hunt the Croc, Kate burst into tears. “What if no one’s here to find the croc? What if...”

  “Oh, Kate,” said her mom. “Let’s just have fun preparing for the party. Everything will work out. You’ll see.”

  Kate wiped her tears. “I know it’s Violet, Mom. I’m going to find out the truth tomorrow. She can’t spoil my party for no reason. It’s not fair.”

  The next day, Violet was out in the morning at the dentist. She came back to school after lunch. Kate had to wait till the end of the day to talk to her.

  Kate’s knees shook as she walked over to Violet. Violet was talking to Lila. Kate took a deep breath. “I want to talk to you,” she told Violet in a firm voice.

  “I don’t want to talk to you,” said Violet, turning her back on Kate. “I’m busy and I’m going home.”

  But Kate wouldn’t let Violet stop her.

  “Why are you trying to ruin my party?” she asked. “I didn’t do anything to you.”

  Violet spun around. “Oh, yes, you did,” she barked, waving her finger in front of Kate’s face. “You didn’t invite me to your stupid party.”

  “I did too,” said Kate. “I put everyone’s invitation in their desk. Look in your desk and you’ll find it.”

  “There’s nothing there,” said Violet, glancing quickly in her desk.

  “Look again,” said Kate. “I put the invitation there. If you don’t believe me, ask my mom.”

  This time Violet bent over and peered inside her desk. She pulled out a pile of crumpled paper, three nibbled pencils,
a long, tattered hair ribbon and a squished tuna sandwich.

  “See? Your stupid invitation is not here,” she said.

  “Look again,” insisted Kate. “There’s more stuff in your desk.”

  Violet yanked out a handful of green and pink socks, a crushed paper bag and a crumpled piece of paper. The paper was smeared with tuna and mayonnaise and had a picture of a smiling parrot. It said, Come as a Pirate to Kate’s Pirate Party.

  “Oh...” stammered Violet. “I guess you did invite me to your party. Well... That’s great. See you on Sunday.”

  And with that, Violet ran out the door.

  Kate looked around the room. The classroom was almost empty. All the kids had gone home except for Brad, who was pulling a wad of crumpled tissues out of his desk and stuffing them into his schoolbag.

  Kate sighed. Now she knew why Violet had spread the rumors. Violet thought Kate hadn’t invited her to her party. But so what if Kate knew the truth now? The damage was done. Violet wouldn’t tell anyone the truth. That would make her look like a liar.

  “Hurry, Kate,” Jake called from the front of the room. “My mom’s waiting outside. Remember, she’s going to drive you home today.”

  Kate trudged out to join Jake. She pictured Violet coming to her party.

  Kate shivered. It was a terrible thought.

  Chapter Ten

  Who’s Coming?

  “Oh, Mom, the cake is beautiful!” said Kate as her mom placed the iced chocolate cake on the counter. It had a layer of strawberry jam in the middle.

  “Now you can decorate it,” said Kate’s mom, handing Kate a bag of red and black jellybeans.

  Kate made a pattern around the edge of the cake. In the center of the cake, she used the jellybeans to make a pirate face with a crooked smile.

  Her mom piped a strawberry icing pirate’s hat on the pirate’s head. She piped seven small red flowers inside the hat.

  “Perfect!” exclaimed Kate.

  “Now, let’s set the table,” said her mom. Kate and her mom placed twenty red paper plates on the two large tables they’d set up in the basement. Beside them they placed black napkins and black paper cups. Kate’s dad blew up twenty red and black balloons and hung them around the room.

  “Why don’t you get into your pirate outfit,” suggested her mom. “Your friends should be here in half an hour.”

  Kate’s stomach knotted as she raced upstairs. All weekend, she’d tried not to worry about who would come to her party, but every once in a while a worry crept into her head. Now the party was only half an hour away. Please come, everybody, she prayed. Please come.

  Kate slipped into her black pants and red shirt. She wrapped her mom’s red scarf around her waist. As she tied the red bandanna around her head, the bell rang. Who could that be? Her party didn’t start till 2:00 and it was only 1:30.

  “Kate, you have a guest,” called her mom.

  Kate stuck her black eye patch over her left eye and raced down the stairs.

  It was Violet. She was dressed in black pants, a shimmery black shirt and a red sash.

  “Hi,” said Kate “You’re early. My party doesn’t officially start till 2:00.”

  “Oh, that’s okay,” said Violet. “The invitation was smeared and I couldn’t read the time right.

  Lila can’t come. She has the flu. Here’s your present.”

  Violet stuck a long narrow box into Kate’s hand.

  “Thanks,” said Kate.

  “Do you like my pirate outfit?” asked Violet, twirling around. “The sash is real silk. It’s my mother’s and it cost so much, you wouldn’t believe it.”

  “It’s pretty,” said Kate.

  “So, where’s the party gonna be?”

  “In my basement,” said Kate.

  “I hate basements. Basements are creepy!”

  Despite Violet’s groans, she followed Kate down the stairs to the basement.

  “This isn’t too bad,” said Violet. She looked up and down the basement like an exterminator hunting for roaches. “Your furniture is pretty old, but at least it doesn’t smell. My Aunt Carol’s basement smells like dead bodies. I like the balloons, and your cake is great. Where did you buy it?”

  “I didn’t. My mom and I made it.”

  “Wow. That’s pretty good. What flavor is it?”

  “Strawberry and chocolate,” said Kate.

  “I love strawberry. Can I have two roses? I love cake roses.”

  “I don’t know. There are only seven and someone else might want a rose.”

  “But I came early, and anyway, why isn’t anyone else here yet? Are you sure anyone is coming to your party besides me?”

  Kate bit her lip. She wanted to scream at Violet that if no one came to the party, it was all Violet’s fault. But Kate couldn’t say that.

  “It’s still a little before 2:00,” she said instead. “Everyone else will be here soon.”

  “Well, I hope so,” said Violet. “It will be a very boring party if it’s just you and me.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Party!

  “It’s ten after two,” announced Violet, tapping her fingers on the table. Tap. Tap. Tap. “And no one’s here. No one’s coming to your party but me.”

  “Jake is coming,” Kate insisted. “I know he is.”

  “If he comes,” said Violet, laughing, “it will probably be at midnight. He’s never on time for anything. Let’s cut that cake so this party isn’t a total waste. I want three roses. No one else is here to eat them anyway.”

  “I’m not cutting the cake,” said Kate firmly. “And if no one comes to my party, it’s your fault. You spread those rumors about my party.”

  “Big deal,” said Violet, tapping her fingers again. “If the kids liked you, they’d come anyway.”

  A lump started in Kate’s throat. Don’t cry, she told herself. Violet is just saying those things to make you cry. Kate choked the lump down.

  The two girls glared at each other.

  “This is the worst party I’ve ever been to,” said Violet. “Cut that cake now or I’m going home.”

  Kate stood up. “No,” she said. “I won’t cut it.”

  Violet stood up. “Then I’m calling my mother to pick me up right now. I hate your party, Kate. It’s stupid and boring and dumb.”

  “Call her then,” said Kate, and she handed Violet the phone.

  For an instant, Violet hesitated. Then she grabbed the phone from Kate and dialed. “Mom,” said Violet loudly, “you have to pick me up NOW. I’m not staying another minute at this stupid party. If I stay another minute, I will throw up.”

  Five minutes later, Violet opened the door to leave.

  “Do you want your present back?” asked Kate.

  “No,” said Violet. “Keep it. It’s just a stupid game. I don’t even like it. I got two for my birthday, so I gave you one.”

  And with that, Violet flounced out of Kate’s house.

  Kate ran up the stairs to her room and threw herself on her bed. The clock beside her bed said 2:16.

  No one is coming, she thought. Violet is right. Even Jake isn’t coming.

  Kate stared as the minutes ticked by:

  2:17

  2:18

  2:19

  Kate slammed the clock face down on the table. She yanked off her eye patch. Tears dribbled down her face. She stood up to undo her pirate sash.

  “Kate!” her mom called up the stairs. “Come down. You have guests!”

  Guests? Kate wiped her eyes. She straightened her shirt, tightened her sash and stuck her patch

  back up on her left eye. Then she ran downstairs. Her heart beat hard at each step. Yes. She could hear voices! Was Jake here?

  The voices grew louder as Kate headed down to the basement. There weren’t just one or two voices. There was a whole class of voices!

  Kate opened the door to the basement. A roomful of smiling faces greeted her. “Happy Birthday!” they sang.

  Kate felt like her heart
would burst as she looked at the decorations, the food, the presents, her family and all her friends.

  Jake was smiling his goofiest, friendliest smile and wearing baggy black pants and a red vest. Alice, Andrew, Charlene, Ben and Carla were all dressed up like pirates. Even Leo was smiling, and Brad’s nose was as dry as a cactus.

  “Sorry we’re late,” said Jake. “I know I said I’d never be late for your party, but I really have a good excuse this time.”

  “He does,” said Andrew. “He told us that Violet spread all those rumors because she thought she wasn’t invited to your party. So we all decided to surprise you and come to your party together. We started out early, but my dad had a flat tire on the way.”

  “And it took twenty minutes to fix,” said Alice.

  “But here we are, Kate M’Mate,” said Jake.

  Kate’s eyes glowed as bright as her candles. “Thank you all,” she said. “This is the best party ever. And you all are the best mates a pirate could ever have.”

  Frieda Wishinsky is the award-winning

  author of many popular books for children,

  including Just Call Me Joe

  (Orca, 2003) and Each One Special

  (Orca, 1998). Frieda lives in Toronto

  with her husband and family.

  Louise-Andrée Laliberté has built

  a career as an artist, illustrator, and

  graphic designer, Her books include

  the popular french series of more than

  thiretten books Noémie. Hank and

  Fergus is her most recent picture book.

  She recieved the CAPIC’s Gold Prize

  for book illustration for her work

  in L’Homme Étoile She lives with

  her family and her big black dog in

  Québec City, Québec.

  Other books in the Orca Echoes Series